Encounter...with...MOHANLAL!!!???$#%%@*)?

hmm...am on a writing spree right now...so..making the most of it...

Anyway...lemme talk about the title of this post....
Yup...encounter(is it too strong...probably yes).Ok,I'll call it a conversation with none other than mallu's dear Lalettan ;).I was in my 12th then.I still remember that afternoon.Got back from school and was lunching with Amma.And like everyday Appa called home and asked about my day and things like that,and before ending the talk he said,Mohanlal was here in Riyadh for promos of his product TASTE BUDS and that the number is advertised in the local newspaper.He asked me try out,and....i told him.."obviously i wouldn't get connected".Anyway,for the heck of it,i tried.And,unbelievable i got connected.Another frozen moment!! I didn't know what to say,i conveniently slipped the cordless to my mom's ear!Let she deal with it!!Well,she asked him how he finds riyadh,and,how much we like his movies,blah..blah..blah...what else can u talk to a stranger!! and that too a celebrity stranger!And then she tells him,"My daughter wants to talk to u...her names Kavitha and she's in the 12th"...THERE!! she hands me the phone...gulp!!
I pick the phone...and right away say"HI Uncle...how r u??" hehehehehehehehe....poor lalettan....i might have been the first person who called him uncle!! even kids call him lalettan!!! well..yeah..nothing else came out!I didnt know how to deal with this situation!!!
To which he replied "Hello mole!..how've u been"...mole?? me???hehehe...another joke...!!!anyway....he asked about my school and how am finding the classes and..then,again i didnt know what more to talk..and i blurted "Am pretty much waiting for ur 25 yrs of stardom show!! Sigh,i cant watch all of it cuz of my boards!!".And well,the much acclaimed actor that he is,he sounded upset about the whole thing.It gave me the feel of "Ningal illandu enikku enthu aaghosham"(without all u ppl where's the celebration??)
And finally he wished me all the best for my boards and convey his "love" to everyone at home,and told..."I'll see u all when u come back to Kerala"(another joke)
Yeah,the conversation ended right there with adieu and goodbye!
It was a joke,a dream,a pleasant surprise...call it whatever.At the end of the day i had something to show off... "that i spoke to MOHANLAL!!".I called up my friends,I mailed my brother and relatives!Well,after the call ended was when the realization hit me,I was speaking to "Manikuttan in thenmaavin kombathu","Vijayan in akkare akkare akkare","Sunny in manichitrathaazhu","Mangalassery Neelakandan in devasuram"....and countless classics!!! Am an ardent fan of Mohanlal and when the time came that i spoke to him in person,i didn't get any feel of it.He sounded like another friendly stranger.(obviously,he should!!).
But yeah,felt great.A day to remember...

Songs.....

Songs,an integral part of my life.I was thinking about the songs that really matter to me...u know..matter to me..like how some people matter!!!Well yeah,lot of songs do....and am gonna be just talking about all those songs.

There's few songs that makes me feel like a bird!And the fastest flying bird.One such song is "Ehsaas-Atif Aslam"....the lyrics r so beautiful.It transports me to the clouds,makes me touch the star too!!(:D).The other day as i walking along the streets,i really lost myself in the song.The winds were strong,my hair went all wizz!!!Phew!!!I really felt like a bird.I no longer wanted to be human!!! [:O]....another birdie song's "Here I am-Bryan Adams".....wooh!!Very inspirational...Its like...even if everyone's against me...i really don't care...an energy booster!!

"Nila Kaaykirathu" from the Tamil movie Indira,its clam,serene,still.....and the voice is so very soothing.....
"Cloud Number 9-Bryan Adams'......Should i really talk about it???The songs just purrrrfect!
"I'll be there for U-Friends title track"....hmm...this one...i share this song with my best friend!!Whenever i listen to this particular song,am reminded of no one but her....the last day we spent together....morning 8 till evening 8...and the crazy things we kept doing!!!
"Maula Mere-Anwar".....mmmm.....guess it makes any girl feel like a princess!!![;)]hehehehe....yeah...the show gets over right after the song!!
"Javeda Zindagi-Anwar"......one song that can make me cry for long when am depressed and,that can make me depressed even when am in high spirits.....its a painfully beautiful song.The female voice rendered...is with so much feel....it's like the sounds coming from somewhere very very deep....
"Tu bin bataye-RDB".....just how the video goes....its mountain and breeze feel.
"Animal song-Savage Garden".....hehehe......think humans r disgusting! out to hurt!!! and...a feel good song...
"You are still the one-Shania Twain"....urrm...the song says it all.....
"Main Vaari Vaari-Mangal Pandey"....i have no idea why i like the song...the movies disgusting!...the video of the song is nothing close to graceful...but the songs really caught my attention
"Seetha Kalyana".....divine!!!
"Tujse Naaraaz nahi zindagi-Masoom", talking about this song....i never paid much attention until a finalist ,Amant Ali sang it in zee tv, sa re ga ma pa.....he really got into the song...i even cried!!! its beautiful...
"Kaatrin Mozhi-Mozhi",just like the lyrics of the song.....there isnt need for "manithanukku mozhi"
"Pretty Woman-Pretty woman"...the music is groovy!!!!gets the 70's mood!!!very..very wild!!!
"Kannukku mai azhagu-Pudiya mugham",fresh....something like the spring....
"Alliyilam poovo"....i dunno which movie though....its....one of the most beautiful lullaby thats there.....it will get the kid inside u...out...its got that warmth...
"Sunshine-John Denver"....
hmm.....cant think of more...[:(]

My future....

My future......As from what i see now,if i join Tcs,i'll end up being,just another drop in the software ocean.I'll go to work,sit with my pc,do what am to do.....blah..blah..blah.Make money,get dark circles,my brain going close to 0,(not that its 100% filled ryt now),go back home for sleep.......urrrmm....things like that.Phew,i already feel tired thinking about it.
Now,so,do i want to take up the job.YES.Until i find another solution.Talking of solutions,one day in a classless class few friends and i were making a list of how our future might turn out to be.Make a list of possibilities where we might end up being.I made mine too.I got close to 10 options...of which just 2 are feasible :D. I'll write them down anyway!

1.Join TCS (High probability)

2.Do course on professional photography,and join,Page 3/National Geographic(very contradicting fields)

3.Do course on mass communication and journalism (The Times might grab me :D )

4.Join NIFT (Be bollywood top designer,then ditch bollywood and join VERSACE :O)

5.Enroll for jewelry designing (Work for D'Damas)

6.Cartoonist (Warner bros??)

7.Traveller show host (for holiday in the BBC :D??)

8.Do MBA????(wonder why??......cuz i can talk?? so wat??....its just another option)

9.Do animation.....(why again, cuz i still enjoy cartoons....urrm...so wat??)

I loved my first 7 options.Finally we were looking at each others list, and, i hate to admit,I was titled a dreamer!!! Was i dreaming???Or does it classify under my eccentric sun sign of an Aquarian?
Well...am just trying to escape from the technical world!!Something that has never ever has succeeded in getting hold of my interest.I feel like a lost pup when i think of technical things!!
And a wizard otherwise!! :D

Just another job??

Right from the beginning of engineering,one thing that i have been hearing is "PLACEMENTS".
Anything wild or wrong happens,the next warning is threatening about placements.Placements that,Placements this.Finally,by the end of third year,it really got into our head.Training for writing the tests was for an year!!And wrote like,5 tests for those tests.Anyway,it was not the training that helped.It was just the fever of "WHAT IF AM NOT PLACED" syndrome.So,we did some work just before 4 days of the placement season.Read through formula's,busy looking at 500 or something "high frequency" words.
Finally it was DE DAY.At like 9 in the morning all of us had to attend the ppt.And well i hate to admit it,we were writing things from the ppt like "agyakaari batcha's".Wrote the number of branches TCS has all over the world,the products,the projects,the services,the what not!!!I still have that book wherein i wrote all these things,and trust me i feel so funny that i'd actually done all that!!!Then we were informed that the test is at 1:00 and that the test would be for 90 minutes.
Everything was fast.The test was good,the vocabulary was ok.All the while,i dreaded to see the result.And,since this was an online test,i'd get my result like the GRE score!!!!it was either "CONGRATS" or..."SORRY". It was so freaking!anyway,right after the 90 minutes,the result would come,and well,I was lucky.I got "CONGRATS".
Had to proceed with the interview.Well,it was scary,rumors flying around,"lot of C/C++ questions even if ur non-IT","rejection panel"....wat not!!We were waiting in the guesthouse for what seemd like eternity to me.Waited from 4pm to 7:45 pm.
And,finally a short man came outside the room and called out my name.It was a frozen moment.I went blank.I think I even forgot my name.Anyway,my reaction time wasnt that bad,i went inside the room.2 people in the panel.The guy kept asking me lot of questions.He asked about my schooling,my parents,my objectives,my long term ambition,some technical questions.And finally he asked "If selected for Tcs,where do u see yourself in 5 years".
OOOKKKAAYY!!!I was not one bit prepared for it.Number one,i didnt even see myself in Tcs 5 years ahead!!I was here,attending the interview just for the heck of it.I wasnt even sure if i would join.I looked at him like i was calculating my success rate,and i finally blurted,"I would like to be a team leader". And,frankly,i have no idea what other posts exist!I never did my homework.I dont know what else happens in all these places.So,the obvious answer.But,this guy was cleaver,he questioned me back "why do u think everyone wants to be a team leader and if everyone wants to be a leader where are the other posts??"....This was a sure googly!!what do i say next.Anyway,my instant response was the shot.I told him "Everyone might want to be a leader,but being good at it is the thing.Leader has more work than what someone can think,he needs to manage,lead,co-ordinate and do his work,so i think its very challenging"

He looked at me like i rendered an inspirational speech!! and i felt like i just recited a paragraph from a management text book.I felt like an idiot to have had said that.Did i have an option?NO.I had to fill in some answer.Anyway,the interview was done with.I was satisfied.And the rest,i left to my stars!
I was nervous again when the results were to be announced,which delayed for another 5 hours!!!We had to wait from 4pm to 9 pm to know the results!!!Got irritated,scared,stupid...everything!!We all decided to get out of the hall,a walk perhaps.Well the Gods above saw our heated up condition and out of nowhere it started to rain.And rain heavily! got partially drenched.But,happy.And right when we got back to the hall,the Tcs guys were ready with the results.All my friends and i got through.
But something that did happen was,right when the guy called out my name.I was uncertain.It was a frozen moment.I couldnt hear anything much after that.I was over joyed.I was feeling so weird.I just got my first job!!It was something new!I was trembling.I didnt know what happened.Called up my mom,called my brother.And when we got out of the hall.It was something.Went around screaming and with the rain.It was party!
Maybe the job is nothing great.Maybe i cheered on for something that i might cry much later.But yes,i loved that day!Like "Every dog has a day".....that day was mine!

another review.......

"Rarely do we realize that we are in the midst of the extraordinary. Miracles
occur all around us, signs from God show us the way, angels plead
to be heard, but we pay little attention to them because we have
been taught that we must follow certain formulas and rules if we
want to find God. We do not recognize that God is wherever we
allow Him/Her to enter. At some point, we have each
said through our tears, "I'm suffering for a love that's not worth it."
We suffer because we feel we are giving more than we receive. We
suffer because our love is going unrecognized. We suffer because
we are unable to impose our own rules. One doesn't love in order to do what is good or to help or to protect someone. If we act that way, we perceive the other as a simple object, and we are seeing ourselves as wise and
generous persons. This has nothing to do with love. To love is
to be in communion with the other and discover in that other the
spark of God."

This is from a book that i just finished reading..."By river Piedra,i sat down and wept"....and yes...by Paulo Coelho....the book pretty much doesn't make sense in the form of a story...but it is brilliantly written....or possibly am blinded by his charm!!!

But...there's a line that i loved reading...."If i am to forget him...i will do it....If I am to wait for him...i will do it....but not knowing which of it, is making me suffer..." The "him" that can transform to mortal or material.....It speaks of how much we attach to anything..anything that raises the inner conflict.

We hope and pray for things so uncertain.we pray for materials..for miracles to transform our life....we pray for happiness...when we don't look for venues.We don't look for love.

Today....i was a witness to a scene between a mother and son.....mother..hurrying to the office..and on her way she "drops" in the temple....the child is cranky for some reason and he nags her....she gets frustrated by that attitude of her son and gives him a look that conveyed the message that if he continued in his action...the "re-action" is bound to be severe......Thats when i thought....many a times in a day...we come across things that obstruct our way...maybe in the form of humans...or maybe something else...but in that case who do v blame?? We curse the moment....we curse the fact that we happened to be there then...the "IF ONLY" term keeps recurring in our mind.....

All the while....do we curse God??? Do we get angry?? Can we refrain ourself from asking more "favors"??? We dont...infact we cant...We cant allow that feel of letting go of Someone or Some Force arround us...we simply cant ignore it... .....

We cant love anyone unconditionally as is spoken of.Ultimately we are all made to be selfish.... "I"..."ME"...."MINE"......things that we are so possessive about.Anything and everything has conditions.Everything has an angle of reference.Nothing can be accepted the way they were made.....things need to change for our convenience..."things" can be mortals....and as always blinded by the "love" for the beloved we are willing to change.We are ready to accept their convictions.(though they collide terribly).And with a small mistake...a small clash of ego...when things cant go on....u fret.Fret of something that was never real...that was never yours.

This book has a beautiful paragraph....here he compares Love to a well..

"That well brought many people here with hopes,dreams and conflicts.Someone dared to look for water,water was found,and people gathered where it flowed.I think thats when we look for love,it reveals itself,and we wind up attracting even more love.

It says that a city can be moved but not a well.Its around the well that lovers find each other,satisfy their thirst,build their homes and raise their children.But if one of them decides to leave,the well cannot go with them.Love remains there,abandoned-even though it is filled with the same pure water as before"....

( I know that its incomplete......maybe it'll have a sequel....)

Forces...WHY? WHAT?WHO?WHEN?

Finally....am got the much awaited treat for myself.Treat of learning the VEDAS.Since long that i wanted to,but the dominating patriarchal society never does allow girls to a part of the VEDA world....anyway for this i owe a BIG THANKS to my college for arranging such a program.Always wanted to know THE ETERNAL LIVING BEING...whats the cosmos?.....what are forces around us? whats it to life that makes all these studying important?why do we feel the way we feel? why have bonds?why have relationships?whats the TRUTH they talk of? whats that ONE knowledge thats got everything?what are thoughts? what are dreams? Who's God?If appearance and personality is nothing then why does it enjoy the royalty its bestowed? Whats pain? Why crave for happiness?Why pray? Why think of money as a source to any and every pleasure in life?If its only pleasure....what is pleasure?? what is it to be Happy? can we always be happy? is there nothing more than that? Is it the ultimate? If we know doing something might leave us unhappy at some point of our life then why do we continue doing it?Why do we cry about the people who parted us and gone to another world? whats after death? is there a heaven or a hell? is it just story?why do we love?whats the detachment they talk of? can we ever do it in practice?whats change? why does EVERYTHING change? why does everyone change? is change inevitable? whats the purpose of life? what am I to do? does my existence make a difference? am i necessary? does it make anything worthwhile? finally WHO AM I?......
So many questions!!!! so much to know about life than just work,make money,enjoy,cook,eat........its nothing very philosophical but things very subtle....things that are not often but always overlooked.Maybe it is necessary.....maybe not for sustainance....the chanting of VEDAS does induce the vibrations....it makes something around...makes me feel like there r things and forces around me.....something like spirits.But with everything positive....makes me energetic and tired all at once...but yes...loooooooooooooong way to go!

AM BAAACCK!

OLLLAAAA!!!!!!.....how've things been!!!sure long that i saw my dashboard....and feels good......feels like lot's expected to unroll.....again its just "expected"...anyway.....i had "some" time for about three weeks away from home....WHEW!!....it was tiring!......tiring because i had "DE-periodicals"......6 subjects.....finally it left us with "please let me finish this.....and i don care wats the end result"......made us go cuckoo.....mugging!!! mugging and more of mugging.....and non-mugging subjects....dunno what to do either!!!!...anyway....it also lead me and aishu to the point where we danced like 2 mad people the night before an exam for a new hindi song...and....Thanks to it..i didnt sleep for a while which gave me some extra time to mug.. ..studies r done with......then...a beautiful outing including attending a wedding!!!! A true re-fresher!!!!Extravagant.....now....should i care about it??? NO!!! cuz am enjoying the royalty!Stay in AC.....(hehehehe...the typical OC'ikku acidum kudikkunna attitude) nice!...then the reception dinner...the dressing up for it....the party as such.......but to think of it....i wonder whats it they get from making all those vegetable gardens..the ice sculptors.....then the amazing stage deco.......definitely AWE!....awe at the extravagance,at how much is spent for a WEDDING!!!!!! makes zero sense.....anyway...the next day being a Sunday after periodicals....was positively the outing day for all Amritaites...so after helping Amma with her journey back home i went to accompany my BUDDIES.......went to CCD......took snaps....got some "allowance" ( for don't ask me what....i just coaxed to get it)....anyway splurged on some cosmetics......(some plastics and chemicals to use on my skin.....and supposedly does something new and...ahem....leaves u beautiful)....and...i believe that for that promise to come true...i need to spend another grand in a spa or something.... well....without caring to do that i still splurged... thought of going for a hindi flick....didnt work out cuz its just released....so....the whole afternoon till 4 left us wondering wat to do next!!!!....roamed about RS puram...in the hot baking sun.......tired beyond the point of exhaustion still walked....did some gift shopping....met up few friends...and headed back..."HOME"...aka hostel........
After that's been the ONAM week!!!! "poo kalam" everywhere....girls in set sari and guys in mudu eerywhere!!!! (except for good old final yr EEE)...but yes....we put up an enormous pookalam....beautiful...(sigh i dont have the snaps to show off)....and..then did an ONAM show.....exclusively mallu.....thiruvathirakali....a group song....(one which 7 of us did)......then was chenda with other percussion.....ended up being a beautiful show......fun!
But what happened after that was.....something that was never thought of...rather dreamed of.....maybe its all in with the mysterious future.....a unfortunate accident.....which lead to the death of "the chendakaran" of the show and injuries for the others in the car.....so quick was everything that it was not fitting in the frames of my consciousness......it simply failed to register....nothing but the previous days show popped in my mind....except when asleep i had that thought over and over again....isnt it scary.....scary that ur world might topple down? to deformed pieces?

Wise and otherwise???

I've been reading a book titled"Wise and Otherwise"....by Sudha Murthy..........its not a novel.....not short stories either.....but experiences that she has had since she's started observing.Nice in the sense that she's a keen witness to a lot of things that can pass.In fact some of her observations are pretty close to what I've thought of many a time......In one she talks about a middle-aged man coming with a much older man to put him in a old age home and also saying that he'd found the old person in a bus-stop and no money to go anywhere....at the end it turns out that they were father and son........he LIED because his wife didn't like the father-in-law and the house belonged to her......Things like this are so much in common.Wonder how the mentality changes.Wonder why they don't realize what its to be alone.........wonder how it feels to be abandoned by someone who could'nt get any closer.........hmmm........i dont want to repeat one thing....thats "he'll undergo the same from his son when he's old"......hmmm.....maybe just not that,....think of the present....is it what someone needs to return??? hmmm...okie...am stopping...might end up like a typical emotional saga......
others r pretty witty...or what i've read so far have been....parallel to that am reading God of small things....guess for the 5th time....very dark and sweltered way of writing.......too much of analogy,too many thoughts......it feels like creepers all around when i read it.......or...call it creepers with pretty flowers.....cuz its both nice and scary at once.....and while reading all of these books i do get a feeling that on observations and some skill of expressing its not difficult to write......a lot of books are born out of experiences......maybe i should start looking for some too to get my dream come true....

COOOOLLLEEEGGEE.......

hmm.....am over with my FIRST week in final yr!!! sigh!!!! am already depressed!!!!well...this year...everyone's nice to everyone else!!! (first observation)........suddenly the whole class is talking and playing pranks and wat not!!!!hmm....NICER!!!
guess wat!!! for the first time a elected as a class rep ;)...hehehehe.....my friends chose me to be the "bakri" of the year....one week down and am all responsible......puzzled??dont be.....i've been forced to change....have to keep meeting the class advisor for anything and everything....get some teacher......not let ppl roam around the corridor....(fear of the HOD!!) he might end up engaging the free hours!!!! hmmm.......feeels nice in a weird way....cuz i used to do all what am not letting others do......and all of a sudden....i cant sleep in class anymore!!! i cant scream for a free period!!!! i cant walk around the corridors!!!!! WHAT SACRIFICES!!!but yeah.....its fine....been having lot of fun in class....this yr we've got the subject of environmental sciences...and a fresher after pg is our staff......and all she knows is to SCREAM!!!! imagine yelling at a bunch of 21 yrs olds.....funny....then's our planning for the Industrial visit.....hehehe....64 in class......50 opinions!!!!gouri and i in class......anju,aishu,anu and i in hostel!!!!!!mornings r crazy'ly funny....and evenings r funnier..... i cant imagine my life next year......i cant imagine without these people....without having to go to college....maybe...i'd like staying here for long...(if the studying part could be removed ;) )i'll miss college like anything....infact i get a feel its gonna be more than school.......the dressing up to canteen.....the evening walks....the beautiful sky...the evening star....my yoga class.....the crazy photoshoots....hmmm.....some life.....

Wat we might want to do.......

Well...i had planned to write something so totally different to what i am going to. This post is totally because of a web page that i just read...its a census report by the UNICEF regarding the abuse on children. It was quiet a interesting report.Not that i was not aware of what was told....which includes children who r trafficked for the obvious,children who were simply abused both mentally and physically,children who were victims of war(both for fighting in the army and suffering the war consequences).
So.....that was it. Well come to think of it.....when did this trafficking and abusing and hurting start.Its no mafia of today....no "under-world" don got it done over night...it goes back to olden days that started with slavery which is still continuing.I fail to understand why this never does to an end.Everyone knows about such things........ and well something that i cant comprehend is with the mind set of the "middle class" society of India. The UNICEF report only spoke of children who were most likely to have had been under privileged.But thats not it.....the factor of child abuse does not end there.....its not the monetary status that decides. Lot of examples that i'
d want to quote......
1.Peak summer time in kerala.......Engineering and Medical entrance coaching class in a vacant government school.......timings:morning 7 to evening 4 with half an hour break session....now that itself "sounds" draining.....imagine....the heat of about 40 deg and fans switched off....(sounds like am kidding???? NO)...i had my niece going to that place and half of the student's would end up dozing.Now...the interesting bit.....WHY WERE THE FANS NEVER SWITCHED ON???? well..simple ans...they wanted to cut down the bill...and the fee charged was a big amount with which they could have easily payed the bill!! they dont have the expenses other than the salary of the staff and the rent of the building!! Isnt that inhuman.....outrageous?? and NO parent still complains....why??? CHILDREN R SUPPOSED TO GO THERE AND STUDY.....and not enjoy the fan!!!! (DUH!!!) Its "somehow or the other get into an engineering/medical colg and get a job" attitude thats gripping them.No one raised their voice....and i dont think anyone would ever as well..

2.Another entrance exam coaching ctr in kerala..... All glory to "methodology" of teaching.well......inside that place....i'd call it a hell hole.....a concentration camp......This person divides(guy who runs it) the students in few batches....and the classification being by their 10th board scores. and the toppers batch get the best faculty and....the following get by their respective grades.....(WOW).....ok....then....the "elite" group of people taught by this man get abused...he yells what ever horrible things that comes to his mind...yeah!!!! outright....no concession for ur parents as well..even with their names involved!!!!!!!(still maddening rush to get into that place).then the hostels......food.. horrible.....if u want to reduce more than half ur weight dont look for any gym or diets...just enroll in this place......and....in the hostel....u can talk to ur fellow room mates for "10 minutes a day" and 10 students have a warden and share a dormitory.I mean....which sane parent would want that????For all i care i'd have yelled at the owner of this institution and got him beaten up and locked him up in the prison long back....(if i had the power to).Now...thats not the whole point.......why does he do it?? why doesn't anyone react??? why r they still sending kids to that place....(answer in the above pt).

3.Children at home....at school....no freedom of thought....THINK WAT UR TOLD TO!. is the rule of the day....no innovativeness.... no one's creative.I have neighbors,whose kids are in kinder garden.....go for tuitions!!!! Is it an age to go for tuitions??? I really feel terrible thinking about that fellow...gets back from school at 4 and runs to the coaching ctr within half an hour....i mean,some effort from home should save the kids....no....nothings done about it.

Well....dunno how relevant i might sound....but these r some...rather few things i'd want to change.....i hate the way things go on here....about marks...about it being a question of ego....increasing or infusing unnecessary competitiveness among kids...kids who could have been friends end up fighting.....how some parents boast about the 99.99's their kids score.....is it all necessary....should the whole world know what goes on at ur home???even worse how the "other" parents screw up their kids life because of so many 99.99's......it doesnt even sound natural to me......i hope things change.....but.....its again a hope against hope....i know of some friends who've already thought of sending their kids to IIT!!!!!!!!(heights of...i donno what to call it!!!!!)......its not a crime to be ambitious.....but not over a line....there r no priorities for any little things in life.....thankfully i never had such a childhood....maybe thats why am reacting...or if u want...call it over-reacting....i hope to find people with similar mindset so that whats going on now doesn't continue.....it'll end up bad......life expectancy might come down to 30/35 in a while!!!!!!!
possibly i want to stop...might continue in another post far too disturbed to go on....

woooh!!!! my BEAUtiful sunday!

RAINSS!!!!!!!......yeah....looooong awaited rains....but now that it's set off...and yeah....i mean....SET OFF!!!! can it not rain anymore....okie...if not anymore...for like just 2 days!phew....staying at home for 5 whole days...u know...knowing nothing than the periphery of my house...that would'nt even include the exterior gates,a walk through the streets of kalpathy can mean a lot.
Doing that had always been a routine....a nice bath to fresh up....pray and Yes! hit the road! ;)...ahem...i mean....walk on the road.... :D...but yeah....monsoon has deprived me of that privilage as well!!! i mean....it'd been a basic necessity and now i felt all locked up in prison!!!!!!
T.V,computer....(precisely orkut and coolgoose)and few books...
Coming to tv.......almost everything i'd like watching are air-head shows......unless am in the state of mind where-in am all info grabing!!!but...yeah otherwise....its let's go...mtv select....top 10....interviews....and....yes...obviously movies....but it can get so totally monotonous....then's orkut,i'd positively want to say its boring! i mean....none of my friends who i'd want to catch up come...and whoever come r those who'r like me...nothing to do....leave a scrap....u know what the expected reply is...and yet!! ah!! the saga continues...so i've lost the charm on it that was once EVER GLOWING!!!
OK...and my last life saver.....novels...i did read quiet some good ones these holidays...but yeah....I HAVE READ !!! so that makes it past-tense! i dont have anything that can stick me onto it!!!!!unless i wanna read some of them again....(nice thought...under serious considerations)
hmmm.....so today...rather this evening i thought....NO i cant be stuck at home! i need to get out....at least to the temple....hmm....no its not "atleast" it is TO THE TEMPLE!....i need to pray for a divine intervention! i needed some gimmicks done by HIM!.....so i need to perform my share of coaxing ;)...
so.....i got out.....something made me not wear my slippers today....i normally dont do that...considering the fact that its rough outside....and my "well cared" delicate feet [;) ] might get hurt...so i've never gone bare foot....but i guess the rain and the little pools of water that's there on roads made me consider and yes! am proud of my intuitions!!!! it was brilliant.....the slippery roads....the little pools of water,the drizzle and the absolutely gray sky got the romantic out of me! :D
went to the temple....felt wonderful...felt long that i've been to one...(actually yes)....something nice.then...i started walking.....beautiful winds,the clouds above getting darker by the minute....woah....there i go!I could not help but keep smile....i felt so happy....i guess i havent felt this happy in...lets say...for about 20 days!!!(yeah last time...ie 20 days back i was frighteningly happy)....but today was special....something like meeting a long lost friend.i loved every second of it......i kept having that idiotic grin on my face and am pretty sure that i noticed few ppl looking at my stupidity...i mean...who wouldnt!!!! its raining cats and dogs....ppl r shutting the doors and windows cursing the sky! and there goes someone who's grinning...must be nuts ;)
i ended up smiling in the temple!!(wierder)
Further down the road the winds became more fierce,heavy downpour.....oh yeah! my thirst was sure quenched!! and yea....i was frighteningly happy again!!!i thought i might end up hysterical....but thankfully i didnt!
....i guess He did hear! atleast made me smile for like 30 mins and feel good about it for LONG!!!!
ah.....what more can i ask!!!

RIYADH.......ah.....i just love u!

hmm...been quiet a few days that writing about Riyadh's been on my mind.well.......Riyadh....thats where i've spent a large chunk of my life.A place i would call.....urrmm...not exactly home....but a little inferior to it.i'd say that because....
1.I HAD TO WEAR PURDAH'S.......(ok....part of me did enjoy the black flowy garment)
2.THERE WERE NO WATER BODIES......(i still hate Riyadh for being a land locked area)
3.LESS RAIN!!!!!!(another reason.....)
ok....but..yeah apart from that i love that place.i still remember the first time i'd landed on the KING KHALID INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT....my mom,brother and i.it was a long journey for me ans...yes it was a wonder.
Now.....its a wonder because till then...(i.e till i was abt 3and half) i'd been in a village or if ur familiar with the usage of agraharams...yes...i used to live in one...in Palakkad....where nothing or no one's ever busy.From there was where my journey started....to Bombay....woah! the whooping crowd and traffic!I was stunned looking at the ever growing buildings(which ended up looking horrid later).Don't remember much happenings in Bombay though....then....YES...it started.....my 4 and half hr journey to Riyadh.The longest time i'd been on a plane.i was excited but yeah...scared cuz its not supported by roads or railway lines...but yeah.....i dozed off if my memory's right(now...i don want to sound like suffering from amnesia...so thats the best line).
ENCHANTED....AWE-STRUCK ....all these are the words that i'd want to say about that mammoth sized airport.golden-cream marbles all around me untouched steel rails(or ever polished)........tall in house plants......and to top it all......AN ENORMOUS FOUNTAIN!!!!.....What more can astound a kid.....why a kid...anyone who'd seen nothing close to all that.....somehow it all looked like a fairy tale......(except for the khaki suited men who kept screaming what made no sense to me)and from the slight openings of the door my mom pointed that my father was waiting for our arrival....hmm....now.......i was going to meet....or yes stay with someone who i'd never been with.....well i was an infant when my father was there at home and....now...yeah....he was COMPLETE stranger to me.....i didnt know much...rather anything.....and....was scared of the impending meeting(which melted like ice on a hot tava in a bloody short while)..... i saw a man in beige coat and pants and kept gaping.....wooh! so....this is my NEW HOME!
well.....for months....since i'd got there in the month of august,i could'nt join school so my mom tutored me(now am not supposed to be wasting time) and my brother continued his 8th.......it was some place.....the shopping malls! yeah.....!!!!! the amount of toys that were heaped....the chocolates....and biscuits!!!! gosh!......its all an experience!.....i still remember i wanted to tag with dad just like my brother to where ever he would go....now that includes the office as well.i still remember.....when he'd get back from work...thats like by 3:30 in the after-noon his first job will be to FIND me....(hehehe...it was a small hide and seek game that i can never forget playing)......i used to hide behind doors....under the table.....and yeah...it was like magic....he'd find me in an instant!!!!(sigh...i hate growing up!)
Mom used to pin me with books in the morning.....now....it wasn't laborious so am not one bit grumbling.......then came a lot of South-Indian family friends....one being my dad's second cousin.....a small circle of friends....(mind u i haven't yet joined school).....finally the BIG DAY.....my first day in school.....wasn't cranky.....because it wasn't my FIRST school....so was fine...but yeah...ALL new faces did get me a wee bit uneasy. i didn't know anyone! In fact....i didn't even know enough English to communicate!(horrible pang of hopelessness)....just few bits and pieces and not much of malayalam either....all i knew was THALAYALAM(the pkd tamil)...now who on earth would know that....yes...inspite of being in an INDIAN school...
I picked up the language pretty fast.....made some good friends fast......luckily had a bunch of MALLU'S AROUND!!!!so....THE GANG was formed fast,....teachers complaining about the talkative mallu kids in class.....i dreaded the parent teacher meetings!!! kept me wondering....DIDN'T THEY HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO TELL ABOUT ME?????(cu my marks cards were never impressive).....even more horrible to hear "all praise" about my brother....but i guess "i dont give a damn" attitude has infused in my since my birth so the J factor never did come up.....
i dont remember much of my first trip back to India after an year...but yeah...somehow i hated going back...i cudnt see my uncle's or aunts....or my granny!!!! or even my best friend in my village....oh...i forgot to mention...i had a best friend back then....wonder where he's now....but...yeah he was my first friend.
days passed....years passed....and my brother was done with his 10th.....and...he was to continue his studying in kerala!!! (LARGEST SIGH OF RELIEF)....cuz it was always like nothing but fight was our mode of communication......(which still does continue).....i mean it sounds strange....a 15 yr old boy fighting with a 7 yr old kid!!!!!but....when i had ACTUALLY leave him behind in kerala and come back.......i do not want to imagine......was pathetic...i felt horrible....the first time i realized how much i loved him....was bad at home...NOW I DIDN'T HAVE ANYONE TO FIGHT WITH!.....i missed him....and ever since that trip to date i haven't lived a whole year with him or even worse he with all of us!!Year after year....i used to look forward for the "about 45 days" holidays in India......things were always the same back there in Riyadh....my school routine....Wednesday was THE DAY!....mom made amazing lunch by the time I'd be back from school.....(never the conventional south Indian food).Invariably we'd go to a mall...(i'd never let my parents drive to the little kerala store called "kairali").....NO WAY!!! come on....its a wednesday for God's sake...we cant be going there!!!!!.....ao whether required or not we'd go to a super market.....and....my all time favorite being one...called"EUROMARCHE".......i wouldn't agree with tamimi or al-jazira(other malls)......i LOVED euromarche....(i still do)....was huge.....had a huge gaming place......yeah....precisely all that anyone would want.......then a thursday....mild day of the weekend....still manage to go out SOMEWHERE!....then came the horrid utterly boring friday.....no outing!!!and...yeah...sat...back to school....
There was this park just behind my house......invariably everyday i used to go there(yes when i a kid...)which existed for few years....and later on rumored to be haunted by a bangladeshi "bhoot" or was it just a way to cajole me of not going there....still haven't got that figured.
i've had some BEAU-tiful birthday parties to remember......one being when i guess what about 8.was brilliant....mom's skill of cooking at the pinnacle!zenith! name whatever!.....my house was flooded with people!Lot of family friends.....a beautifully huge strawberry and plain cream cake......(though i still wonder how i managed to eat that.....oh....btw i hate strawberries)
Speaking of another remarkable thing in riyadh was the vegetable "sookh"....or "chantha" in mallu....and....yes.....a market.....heard of vegetable floods....yes....that was it! nothing but it...i wouldnt call it eventful to go there but nice....something different which i can recollect....
10th.....exams....busy.....quiet some tensions...i really never cared much about the 90's so wouldnt call hyper-tension....yeah managed a decent and good score....11th.....horrible!!!! wanted to just get away from that institution!!! horrible teachers....horrible subjects....i've always disliked chemistry....never my cup of tea......don't even want to call it my teaspoon of tonic!!!
then....yes.....finally my final yr of schooling.....never did realize that it'd been 13 yrs of living in Riyadh!!!!! gosh.....I'd grown used to purdahs......i still remember how i prized my 2nd purdah....cuz i loathed the first one! i demanded the new one wrt to my performance of 10th boards!!!! come on....if not good colors...at least BLACK needs to look beautiful!!!! and with the emerging fashions in "abhaya" i longed for it!!!! and...yes i found the purdah of my dreams!!!! was the flowy black kind with Chinese arms..and with some brilliant embroidery..(making no sense??!@#$%^).....that was the in thing....(wonder whats it these days!).....but....yeah....not for long....after my 12th I'd to get back for further studying.....
Till then i didn't realize that I'd been in love with that place.......it was something living there....i feel like i was a totally different person ......there was something about me that i don't remember now.....the lifestyle that i have now is not one bit like how it was back then......i couldn't imagine that one day I'd have to leave Riyadh for good...it simply never crossed my mind....i never realized that Saudi-Arabia is not my country!!!!!
The last time i saw Riyadh was 2 years ago.......when I'd gone there for my ONAM holidays....my last one week......was painful....was horrid....no....no more....i dont want to think about it.....
But yeah....to all those who think saudi arabia to be a horrid nation with even more horrid laws.....i'd quiet want to re-define......it's a beautiful place.....just like every nation it has some rules and laws that quiet makes it unique......i kept peeping from my window seat trying to catch a last glimpse of the vast expanse of desert........and yeah if ever i'd get a chance to go there again....i'll do nothing but....GRAB THAT OPPORTUNITY!!!!

CLICHE TO THE EXTEME!

humph.....nothing in particular...just thought of dropping in.....well.....listening to a song...nice one in a dunno.....i guess...I'd call it weird way.....something not called....like-able...but rather...love-able....a Tamil song...lot of which i cant quiet follow....but i guess...from what I've understood... its about a totally "rough and tough" guy and "innocent" girl love story....cliche?? possibly yes...cuz isn't it always for the rude guy that the girl falls...??? but rarely is it the other way round.....he he...if a female were to be rude....possibly she'll be the villain ;).......but...something sure is catchy about the whole equation. how the rude guy becomes all of a sudden nice,handsome,caring just within few days of acquaintance with the girl....he see's her to be innocent,gullible,kiddish dunno what more.
Is it like that....do guys actually like nice..."naive" girls....ah! both sex's.......lot of mystery and complexity!!!! one can hardly understand the other!!!! She fancies his ruddy look.......unshaven beard....unclean clothes......beedi ;)......how he thrashes people!!! ah!!! MOVIES!!!....wonder how this whole concept came up...cuz...in real life...i think any sensible normal girl will positively run away from a guy of that type....he'll look scary,unpredictable....and...never will the software job,clean clothes.....TOTALLY handsome fiance be shown any justice.....poor guy...he never gets the girl....even if he tries....he'll be made to be looked upon as the bad guy.......ah!!!!
Ok....am saying all this...guess even I'll watch all these movies....knowing the ending...knowing about the poor fiance.

humph.....nothing in particular...just thought of dropping in.....well.....listening to a song...nice one in a dunno.....i guess...I'd call it weird way.....something not called....like-able...but rather...love-able....a Tamil song...lot of which i cant quiet follow....but i guess...from what I've understood... its about a totally "rough and tough" guy and "innocent" girl love story....cliche?? possibly yes...cuz isn't it always for the rude guy that the girl falls...??? but rarely is it the other way round.....he he...if a female were to be rude....possibly she'll be the villain ;).......but...something sure is catchy about the whole equation. how the rude guy becomes all of a sudden nice,handsome,caring just within few days of acquaintance with the girl....he see's her to be innocent,gullible,kiddish dunno what more.
Is it like that....do guys actually like nice..."naive" girls....ah! both sex's.......lot of mystery and complexity!!!! one can hardly understand the other!!!! She fancies his ruddy look.......unshaven beard....unclean clothes......beedi ;)......how he thrashes people!!! ah!!! MOVIES!!!....wonder how this whole concept came up...cuz...in real life...i think any sensible normal girl will positively run away from a guy of that type....he'll look scary,unpredictable....and...never will the software job,clean clothes.....TOTALLY handsome fiance be shown any justice.....poor guy...he never gets the girl....even if he tries....he'll be made to be looked upon as the bad guy.......ah!!!!
Ok....am saying all this...guess even I'll watch all these movies....knowing the ending...knowing about the poor fiance.

what sea FEELS like.... ;)

Creamy foams on the surface,fine granules of sand and like icing on chocolate cake.... its the two worlds of blue....both totally contradicting and blending at the same time.No wonder there are so many fables about this enormous world. The impossible extent of blue and life under it. To sit on the sand that loves to take u there.Again , no wonder it happens,the sea lie wants to show all the colors to us,humans. A dive inside,shows,stillness,consistent flow,violent whirlpools beautiful pearls and reefs....and also....pretty, little and huge sea life.Everything is so beautifully and amazingly blue....thats so engulfing....so choking,breathless and astounding beauty.Beauty before the sunrise.To see as if the sun were coming from a fresh dip;to when its the joyous aqua with the over head sun;and how it becomes all orange and blushing red.It looks like the sea and sun haven't complied with the separation and have come back like long lost lovers,happy about the re-union;and in unison everything grows dark.When the city with its flow of people and blaring noise,the sea is a silent observer.OH!...I want to go....live....and feel the sea. Knowing a different world.To see and feel water all around,to soak your feet,to let your heart go free with the breeze.To love,to feel unending trust and warm embrace.To lie down gazing at the star studded sky.Looking at a world from another. They give hope.They promise that they will never die even if your world does.Secretly conveying messages....not by miracles or by angels....but by letting your eyes see,mind work and heart feel.TO SEE,TO THINK,TO FEEL.....what more can one ask for.....

what i can just think ryt now..... :)

hey!!! my first ever post... :)....happy...happy that i finally thought of creating one....Inspiration....A major blogger with lots of nice posts...(identity...hidden).so...thanks a lot Mr. XYZ.... :).hmm....so what do i say? dunno....
all of i can think of at the moment is what and all I've written so far but never (obviously) shared in blog spot. my....habitual writing "happened" and i always kept them hidden in my diary.not that it was personal,but they were just feelings....starting from how bad i felt for scoring bad in a math exam to how i made a BIG DECISION of doing my specified area in my UG course....how i missed my friends in school, how i thought I'll never find friends, how i thought (being living abroad for a major part of my life) that Indian kids can never be funny and light headed about things.......and....now....after 3 yrs of living... with the true Indian spirit i say.... I WAS HOPELESSLY WRONG!!!...not only did i get umpteen number of friends....but friends who i got for life...who right now have become a part of myself. again in another year its gonna be the cycle,what happened way back in school.but...am MATURED in thoughts...i know i will go on. i know it will be the same for a while until i get accustomed to the new surroundings. but i also know which i didn't then ,that....I'll have beside me the best of people around who have been with me so far.
I've loved school but not when i was in school...and now I've started loving my college...with just one yr left.......college has given me so much. some lessons that i can never forget, lessons of losing an unknown batch mate,yet crying and praying for his soul. i coudnt fathom a fate for a person of my age my locality my college!.... my college taught what its to have fun....what its to pull legs! and...(get pulled in return)...what "treats" are for any little silly thing. oh! i love it all!and i dont regret one bit of joining "this" place...now...dont get confused.... This is in quotes cuz...thats the way my college is....the great AMRITA VISHWA VIDYAPEETHAM. where there is always a notion that freedom is forever curbed. freedom can never be curbed in a society like that of today. i found my own happiness there.... i broke the laws that was never noticed(lucky me)....
ok...ok...i'm deviating....btw....wat was i trying to say!??!@#$??
ok....am going...its a disaster...
might meet again.... :)