The Pursuit of Happiness.....

I watched this movie last night, and needless to say, yet another movie has entered my favorites. There r a couple of lines that i fell in love with...and one of it is this/close to this... "its always the 'pursuit' of happiness...like happiness is never meant to be attained forever". I dont think anything can be more perfect than that. And like every philosophical guy tells....happiness is just the occasional up's in a life of downs. But well, EVERYBODY lives just for the occasional up's in life. And, on a personal note....i love the risks to get few moments that UP. More interesting is the fact that, even the thought of them brings a me a smile, makes me happy again.......
I dedicate this to my "pursuit of happiness".....to those few moments that i can recollect in my life which still makes me feel happy!

One of the earliest.....when i traveled on air for the first time.
The days i spent playing a game at the terrace of my home, to think of it, i wonder why did it give me so much glee..but its a thing that i still love remembering.
The day our class made it first for the environmental day competition. Our class surpassed the so-called expectations of every teacher and we outdid the much claimed smart students in another class.
The 12th grade camp day at school and the disco that happened for the first time! We had disco lights and HUGE speakers and Neethu, Ashma, Rani, Shaheen, Shaima and I went crazy dancing.
The last school picnic.
My 18th birthday. With my friends in college and coincidentally there was a chaat corner opened for some occasion by the MBA's and lucky for my friends they looted me.
The day my brother came to India to meet all of us after 4 yrs, and he never told me he's making a trip and just turned up in my college. Now, that is truly a day when i laughed and cried together hugging him. That was one of the days i realized how much i actually miss him.
The day my school friends and i met up in Riyadh after a year and a half's time.
Looking through the window of Saudi airlines till Riyadh disappeared from my view.
The day i read " A walk to remember". That book has a record of me finishing in three and half hours. That book is one that i can rightfully claim un-put-down'able and made a difference in a unknowing funny way.
The day I enjoyed the rains in the streets of kalpathy. (p.s. i have a detailed expl on an earlier post.)
The time I spoke to a friend till 2 in the morning and still didn't feel sleepy because of the number of fairies and magical butterflies all around.
The few times I cried watching movies.....like.. Life is beautiful, A walk to remember, The pursuit of happyness, Forrest Gump, Tare zameen par.
The few times i fell in love watching 2 weird and wacky movies... Elizabethtown and The address.
The 2am bike ride my cousin took me. I felt like I ruled the road!
The second last day at college, where all of us went to the swimming pool and yes! enjoyed THAT moment!
The day i got my first job. I trembled with happiness.
The day of final review. When our circuit worked for the first ever time! I cried. I still think it was a miracle that happened that afternoon.
Finally.....TODAY! when my dentist told me in a months time those braces are going to be off!
and...as a treat for the good news he gave me, i found the book that i have been searching never found for the past 3 years! its called... Ancient Promises. Yes! yet another day in my "pursuit of happiness"
I know...its a meager list, and its my memory that fails not happiness!

The trip to an Indian Mall......

Well.. done with my b.tech..and absolutely nothing to do in my native, am on a indefinite vacation! and... i started my journey .. the first being Aamchi Mumbai... Mumbai..., now..this is a city thats fascinated me since i was a child. Everything about it has cought my eyes!! As in... i even like the crowd thats considered to be the biggest trouble. But well.... it was a trip to a mall in new bombay that left me astounded! Now... probably this is my first time to a full fledged mall in India... and.. since i havent been to any here, i didnt have any expectations.. i thought i shud be a decent place... air-conditioned.. lot of shops.. some of them exclusively for window shopping!... blah..blah... anyway... i set off to visit the place..hoping to vatch up with my never ending shopping! my cousin took me there to watch a movie in the cineplex... and..along with that we planned the shopping too...well..we were late for the evening show..and had to wait for the second show....so..okie...lets start looking the whole place... BHAM!!!.... right at the centre of the mall was a podium.. blaring music of the latest hindi dance numbers.... and..a big crowd to see the show... i hoped to see some cinestar...(hope against hope )... and i pushed through some people... to see??(*^%$ Little kids dancing...they were so confident in doing the steps.... and parents cheering in and taking pictures...ahem... well..iu've seen one of this kind in mall in dubai. okie...something new in this place.. then i see some huge cartoon dressed men.. u know..the kind who r involved in catching the kids attention knid..anyway..some of those in a corner... okie..fine... we went to the top floor ..thats where the movie runs... and... in that floor is the food court too... phew!!! now.. that was what i thought... so many restaurents... exactly like some mall abroad... when did all this happen??? probably being in coimbatore and palakkad for the past 4 yrs... i didnt know the changes in the metro.. hey.. but wait.. madras didnt change like this!! thats another metro .... cochin hasnt changed... but well..possibly change catches hold of mumbai faster!...the flooring..the shops.. the variety in the food court... the interiors! everything was... Nothing like i've seen here... and the crowd!!! ahem...i was ashamed to have had dressed like that!!! but... not quite so either... lot of people dressed in the typical maharashtrian manner were there. like say... their typical bunch of green bangles... the typical clothing etc...and to compensate... i saw ppl in halters..tank tops... real bold clothes...and surprisingly..most of them werent single..or along with the partners... rather..with kids...babies!!!.. again..i was left amazed..okie..okie...calm down...that was the only thing i kept repeating to myself... we got the tickets for the latest Indiana Jones movie...have 2 hrs to spend..and we thought..lets get some shopping done.. and after hopping from one shop to another.. i realised.. only window shopping is possible!!!! ultimately... i ended up getting to novels... they are the same everywhere...then..left to the food court... ate at the chinese place... it was half past 10 and still the. crowd was alarming!!.... by 1 30 am were we through the movie.. nice one... if it was hopeless flick..i would have enjoyed the seating in the theatre!!! ahh.!! a refreshing treat! at the end of the day.....i was awe struck at the way the place has changed..and how people are out,... i mean really out for enjoying a saturday night!!

Encounter...with...MOHANLAL!!!???$#%%@*)?

hmm...am on a writing spree right now...so..making the most of it...

Anyway...lemme talk about the title of this post....
Yup...encounter(is it too strong...probably yes).Ok,I'll call it a conversation with none other than mallu's dear Lalettan ;).I was in my 12th then.I still remember that afternoon.Got back from school and was lunching with Amma.And like everyday Appa called home and asked about my day and things like that,and before ending the talk he said,Mohanlal was here in Riyadh for promos of his product TASTE BUDS and that the number is advertised in the local newspaper.He asked me try out,and....i told him.."obviously i wouldn't get connected".Anyway,for the heck of it,i tried.And,unbelievable i got connected.Another frozen moment!! I didn't know what to say,i conveniently slipped the cordless to my mom's ear!Let she deal with it!!Well,she asked him how he finds riyadh,and,how much we like his movies,blah..blah..blah...what else can u talk to a stranger!! and that too a celebrity stranger!And then she tells him,"My daughter wants to talk to u...her names Kavitha and she's in the 12th"...THERE!! she hands me the phone...gulp!!
I pick the phone...and right away say"HI Uncle...how r u??" hehehehehehehehe....poor lalettan....i might have been the first person who called him uncle!! even kids call him lalettan!!! well..yeah..nothing else came out!I didnt know how to deal with this situation!!!
To which he replied "Hello mole!..how've u been"...mole?? me???hehehe...another joke...!!!anyway....he asked about my school and how am finding the classes and..then,again i didnt know what more to talk..and i blurted "Am pretty much waiting for ur 25 yrs of stardom show!! Sigh,i cant watch all of it cuz of my boards!!".And well,the much acclaimed actor that he is,he sounded upset about the whole thing.It gave me the feel of "Ningal illandu enikku enthu aaghosham"(without all u ppl where's the celebration??)
And finally he wished me all the best for my boards and convey his "love" to everyone at home,and told..."I'll see u all when u come back to Kerala"(another joke)
Yeah,the conversation ended right there with adieu and goodbye!
It was a joke,a dream,a pleasant surprise...call it whatever.At the end of the day i had something to show off... "that i spoke to MOHANLAL!!".I called up my friends,I mailed my brother and relatives!Well,after the call ended was when the realization hit me,I was speaking to "Manikuttan in thenmaavin kombathu","Vijayan in akkare akkare akkare","Sunny in manichitrathaazhu","Mangalassery Neelakandan in devasuram"....and countless classics!!! Am an ardent fan of Mohanlal and when the time came that i spoke to him in person,i didn't get any feel of it.He sounded like another friendly stranger.(obviously,he should!!).
But yeah,felt great.A day to remember...

Songs.....

Songs,an integral part of my life.I was thinking about the songs that really matter to me...u know..matter to me..like how some people matter!!!Well yeah,lot of songs do....and am gonna be just talking about all those songs.

There's few songs that makes me feel like a bird!And the fastest flying bird.One such song is "Ehsaas-Atif Aslam"....the lyrics r so beautiful.It transports me to the clouds,makes me touch the star too!!(:D).The other day as i walking along the streets,i really lost myself in the song.The winds were strong,my hair went all wizz!!!Phew!!!I really felt like a bird.I no longer wanted to be human!!! [:O]....another birdie song's "Here I am-Bryan Adams".....wooh!!Very inspirational...Its like...even if everyone's against me...i really don't care...an energy booster!!

"Nila Kaaykirathu" from the Tamil movie Indira,its clam,serene,still.....and the voice is so very soothing.....
"Cloud Number 9-Bryan Adams'......Should i really talk about it???The songs just purrrrfect!
"I'll be there for U-Friends title track"....hmm...this one...i share this song with my best friend!!Whenever i listen to this particular song,am reminded of no one but her....the last day we spent together....morning 8 till evening 8...and the crazy things we kept doing!!!
"Maula Mere-Anwar".....mmmm.....guess it makes any girl feel like a princess!!![;)]hehehehe....yeah...the show gets over right after the song!!
"Javeda Zindagi-Anwar"......one song that can make me cry for long when am depressed and,that can make me depressed even when am in high spirits.....its a painfully beautiful song.The female voice rendered...is with so much feel....it's like the sounds coming from somewhere very very deep....
"Tu bin bataye-RDB".....just how the video goes....its mountain and breeze feel.
"Animal song-Savage Garden".....hehehe......think humans r disgusting! out to hurt!!! and...a feel good song...
"You are still the one-Shania Twain"....urrm...the song says it all.....
"Main Vaari Vaari-Mangal Pandey"....i have no idea why i like the song...the movies disgusting!...the video of the song is nothing close to graceful...but the songs really caught my attention
"Seetha Kalyana".....divine!!!
"Tujse Naaraaz nahi zindagi-Masoom", talking about this song....i never paid much attention until a finalist ,Amant Ali sang it in zee tv, sa re ga ma pa.....he really got into the song...i even cried!!! its beautiful...
"Kaatrin Mozhi-Mozhi",just like the lyrics of the song.....there isnt need for "manithanukku mozhi"
"Pretty Woman-Pretty woman"...the music is groovy!!!!gets the 70's mood!!!very..very wild!!!
"Kannukku mai azhagu-Pudiya mugham",fresh....something like the spring....
"Alliyilam poovo"....i dunno which movie though....its....one of the most beautiful lullaby thats there.....it will get the kid inside u...out...its got that warmth...
"Sunshine-John Denver"....
hmm.....cant think of more...[:(]

My future....

My future......As from what i see now,if i join Tcs,i'll end up being,just another drop in the software ocean.I'll go to work,sit with my pc,do what am to do.....blah..blah..blah.Make money,get dark circles,my brain going close to 0,(not that its 100% filled ryt now),go back home for sleep.......urrrmm....things like that.Phew,i already feel tired thinking about it.
Now,so,do i want to take up the job.YES.Until i find another solution.Talking of solutions,one day in a classless class few friends and i were making a list of how our future might turn out to be.Make a list of possibilities where we might end up being.I made mine too.I got close to 10 options...of which just 2 are feasible :D. I'll write them down anyway!

1.Join TCS (High probability)

2.Do course on professional photography,and join,Page 3/National Geographic(very contradicting fields)

3.Do course on mass communication and journalism (The Times might grab me :D )

4.Join NIFT (Be bollywood top designer,then ditch bollywood and join VERSACE :O)

5.Enroll for jewelry designing (Work for D'Damas)

6.Cartoonist (Warner bros??)

7.Traveller show host (for holiday in the BBC :D??)

8.Do MBA????(wonder why??......cuz i can talk?? so wat??....its just another option)

9.Do animation.....(why again, cuz i still enjoy cartoons....urrm...so wat??)

I loved my first 7 options.Finally we were looking at each others list, and, i hate to admit,I was titled a dreamer!!! Was i dreaming???Or does it classify under my eccentric sun sign of an Aquarian?
Well...am just trying to escape from the technical world!!Something that has never ever has succeeded in getting hold of my interest.I feel like a lost pup when i think of technical things!!
And a wizard otherwise!! :D

Just another job??

Right from the beginning of engineering,one thing that i have been hearing is "PLACEMENTS".
Anything wild or wrong happens,the next warning is threatening about placements.Placements that,Placements this.Finally,by the end of third year,it really got into our head.Training for writing the tests was for an year!!And wrote like,5 tests for those tests.Anyway,it was not the training that helped.It was just the fever of "WHAT IF AM NOT PLACED" syndrome.So,we did some work just before 4 days of the placement season.Read through formula's,busy looking at 500 or something "high frequency" words.
Finally it was DE DAY.At like 9 in the morning all of us had to attend the ppt.And well i hate to admit it,we were writing things from the ppt like "agyakaari batcha's".Wrote the number of branches TCS has all over the world,the products,the projects,the services,the what not!!!I still have that book wherein i wrote all these things,and trust me i feel so funny that i'd actually done all that!!!Then we were informed that the test is at 1:00 and that the test would be for 90 minutes.
Everything was fast.The test was good,the vocabulary was ok.All the while,i dreaded to see the result.And,since this was an online test,i'd get my result like the GRE score!!!!it was either "CONGRATS" or..."SORRY". It was so freaking!anyway,right after the 90 minutes,the result would come,and well,I was lucky.I got "CONGRATS".
Had to proceed with the interview.Well,it was scary,rumors flying around,"lot of C/C++ questions even if ur non-IT","rejection panel"....wat not!!We were waiting in the guesthouse for what seemd like eternity to me.Waited from 4pm to 7:45 pm.
And,finally a short man came outside the room and called out my name.It was a frozen moment.I went blank.I think I even forgot my name.Anyway,my reaction time wasnt that bad,i went inside the room.2 people in the panel.The guy kept asking me lot of questions.He asked about my schooling,my parents,my objectives,my long term ambition,some technical questions.And finally he asked "If selected for Tcs,where do u see yourself in 5 years".
OOOKKKAAYY!!!I was not one bit prepared for it.Number one,i didnt even see myself in Tcs 5 years ahead!!I was here,attending the interview just for the heck of it.I wasnt even sure if i would join.I looked at him like i was calculating my success rate,and i finally blurted,"I would like to be a team leader". And,frankly,i have no idea what other posts exist!I never did my homework.I dont know what else happens in all these places.So,the obvious answer.But,this guy was cleaver,he questioned me back "why do u think everyone wants to be a team leader and if everyone wants to be a leader where are the other posts??"....This was a sure googly!!what do i say next.Anyway,my instant response was the shot.I told him "Everyone might want to be a leader,but being good at it is the thing.Leader has more work than what someone can think,he needs to manage,lead,co-ordinate and do his work,so i think its very challenging"

He looked at me like i rendered an inspirational speech!! and i felt like i just recited a paragraph from a management text book.I felt like an idiot to have had said that.Did i have an option?NO.I had to fill in some answer.Anyway,the interview was done with.I was satisfied.And the rest,i left to my stars!
I was nervous again when the results were to be announced,which delayed for another 5 hours!!!We had to wait from 4pm to 9 pm to know the results!!!Got irritated,scared,stupid...everything!!We all decided to get out of the hall,a walk perhaps.Well the Gods above saw our heated up condition and out of nowhere it started to rain.And rain heavily! got partially drenched.But,happy.And right when we got back to the hall,the Tcs guys were ready with the results.All my friends and i got through.
But something that did happen was,right when the guy called out my name.I was uncertain.It was a frozen moment.I couldnt hear anything much after that.I was over joyed.I was feeling so weird.I just got my first job!!It was something new!I was trembling.I didnt know what happened.Called up my mom,called my brother.And when we got out of the hall.It was something.Went around screaming and with the rain.It was party!
Maybe the job is nothing great.Maybe i cheered on for something that i might cry much later.But yes,i loved that day!Like "Every dog has a day".....that day was mine!

another review.......

"Rarely do we realize that we are in the midst of the extraordinary. Miracles
occur all around us, signs from God show us the way, angels plead
to be heard, but we pay little attention to them because we have
been taught that we must follow certain formulas and rules if we
want to find God. We do not recognize that God is wherever we
allow Him/Her to enter. At some point, we have each
said through our tears, "I'm suffering for a love that's not worth it."
We suffer because we feel we are giving more than we receive. We
suffer because our love is going unrecognized. We suffer because
we are unable to impose our own rules. One doesn't love in order to do what is good or to help or to protect someone. If we act that way, we perceive the other as a simple object, and we are seeing ourselves as wise and
generous persons. This has nothing to do with love. To love is
to be in communion with the other and discover in that other the
spark of God."

This is from a book that i just finished reading..."By river Piedra,i sat down and wept"....and yes...by Paulo Coelho....the book pretty much doesn't make sense in the form of a story...but it is brilliantly written....or possibly am blinded by his charm!!!

But...there's a line that i loved reading...."If i am to forget him...i will do it....If I am to wait for him...i will do it....but not knowing which of it, is making me suffer..." The "him" that can transform to mortal or material.....It speaks of how much we attach to anything..anything that raises the inner conflict.

We hope and pray for things so uncertain.we pray for materials..for miracles to transform our life....we pray for happiness...when we don't look for venues.We don't look for love.

Today....i was a witness to a scene between a mother and son.....mother..hurrying to the office..and on her way she "drops" in the temple....the child is cranky for some reason and he nags her....she gets frustrated by that attitude of her son and gives him a look that conveyed the message that if he continued in his action...the "re-action" is bound to be severe......Thats when i thought....many a times in a day...we come across things that obstruct our way...maybe in the form of humans...or maybe something else...but in that case who do v blame?? We curse the moment....we curse the fact that we happened to be there then...the "IF ONLY" term keeps recurring in our mind.....

All the while....do we curse God??? Do we get angry?? Can we refrain ourself from asking more "favors"??? We dont...infact we cant...We cant allow that feel of letting go of Someone or Some Force arround us...we simply cant ignore it... .....

We cant love anyone unconditionally as is spoken of.Ultimately we are all made to be selfish.... "I"..."ME"...."MINE"......things that we are so possessive about.Anything and everything has conditions.Everything has an angle of reference.Nothing can be accepted the way they were made.....things need to change for our convenience..."things" can be mortals....and as always blinded by the "love" for the beloved we are willing to change.We are ready to accept their convictions.(though they collide terribly).And with a small mistake...a small clash of ego...when things cant go on....u fret.Fret of something that was never real...that was never yours.

This book has a beautiful paragraph....here he compares Love to a well..

"That well brought many people here with hopes,dreams and conflicts.Someone dared to look for water,water was found,and people gathered where it flowed.I think thats when we look for love,it reveals itself,and we wind up attracting even more love.

It says that a city can be moved but not a well.Its around the well that lovers find each other,satisfy their thirst,build their homes and raise their children.But if one of them decides to leave,the well cannot go with them.Love remains there,abandoned-even though it is filled with the same pure water as before"....

( I know that its incomplete......maybe it'll have a sequel....)