This one...ok, does not have a name. Random Ramble probably :)

Its been long. But then, i just noticed that i have started off with this line so many times in my poor little blog. At times I wonder why do I bother punching my keyboard so much to do this blog. I mean, its not like anyone actually misses me in this part of the world (wide web). I mean, i know for a fact that people dont "accidentally" stumble into my blog/read unless i send a mailer (talk about being dirt-cheap)/unless i have my knife on their throat! Yeah. So, lets chuck the part of "been long". 

So, apart from all that I'm bugged with life. I'm bugged that I have no-work @ office. Yes, I really am bugged about it. I mean, these days, everyone has that look on their face when u say ur a s/w engineer. "Oh, poor girl, she must be working till mid-night and still get back to work at dawn". But, yes, they should also learn and accept this new fact of being jobless-still-getting-paid-and STILL-in-a-project phase in a s/w engg's life.Yes, I'm truly jobless to the very word. I read Princess Diaries/Blogs/Sleep in the doctors room (I'm glad that head-ache still shows no other symptoms and is easily fake-able). Come on its not easy to fake tooth-ache (esp when u love eating!!), u'd have to stop eating and watch others munching on!! That's a traumatic situation. So, yeah, getting back to my joblessness, i have nothing to do all day.I still work in TCS to use their free gym and meet my friends and u know, generally to spend some time with myself. But looks like I'm getting too much time with myself. 

So, in the midst of all of this. I started getting irritated with myself. I realized I'm wasting my time, and u know how i combatted that situation--> By solving Fourier Series and MICA papers and doing essays for applying in Teach for India. Talk about being aimless. I dont know why i had this thirst to solve and learn Fourier Series all over again. I cant imagine the heights I'd have gotten had i felt this in college. Or wait, I think i know to what height I'd have gotten. I'd still be in TCS writing this. Yes! So, thank god i didn't have this urge then and now. I get to spend time usefully atleast!! Who wouldn't be proud of me, willingly trying to learn Mathematics. Then, coming to MICA paper. They were good. I just had to revisit some formula's in Maths and Physics and I knew I could crack them. (yes, I'm beyond optimistic) And then comes my last option. Writing the essay for Teach for India. I got this from Jags, who I know will turn out to be the greatest social-reformer and greatest-alcoholic known in our times. No offense Jags.Yes, I also know deep inside that you will start that tea shop in Himalayas even without my input. (Not that u asked me or anything....nevertheless) as u talk about Political Science to Pesticides to Energy from the Earth to Teaching Children to Making the most wonderful Paneer curry and sipping ur Whiskey. Yes, I'm already proud of u :) 

And, on a serious note, I think I finally know what I want in life. I want to teach. I dont know what to teach, but yes, I want to teach. I want to give what I know. I just realized that the happiest moments was when someone understood something i tried to teach them. I felt so nice, I felt I gave a part of me to them. And yes, the invisible hand patted my shoulder. So, I'm considering the switch seriously, which explains the attempt @ Teach for India. They are quite an organization. They have asked for a 2 year commitment, wherein we will need to stay at a rural place in India and teach a class and well, essentially be held responsible for those children. WOW! Talk about challenge! And when they do awesome I get to say, "that's my child who wrote that beautiful poem" WOW! The thought just chilled my spine and gave me goose-bumps :) 

I just got to know that Eat Pray Love is released. The movie I have been waiting for is released and I never knew! Heinous crime! AND it's Ms. Roberts in the movie!! I must watch the movie. But yes a spoiler is that, I loved the book. I had a motion picture running when i was reading. And, well, yeah, that's the biggest apprehension.Anyway I'm someone who paid 250 bucks for Dil Bole Hadippa. Hence.... 

There's another thing which i just observed right now. All of us in the ODC just rush like people who have never seen anything to eat, when some random guy gets sweets. Yes, it could be out of love, but i suspect that it's fear. Fear that the sweet box will be emptied within flash of an eye. Anyway, i ran too. Ok, i waited for full 5 mins, and noticed that the crowd was comparatively less and then RAN!! "Fuck, is any shit left??!!". Yes, that's what i thought. Hehehe, some ego stab anyway! It helps. Its not nice if you always try to prove hard that ur the most perfect one out there, when infact you r close to being as desperate as the manager  (for that sweet ie).I also went to the loo, just because my posterior feared the situation of being paralyzed. Lord, where am i! Why am i doing this. But well, what else do i do? And how else will I write this post if i were doing That and not This :) 

Smiles and hugs (esp when u see someone like who i saw ;) )